What happens when you bring together great people for an event focused on social media and dating?
Insanity.
Just kidding. You get interesting questions about dating issues (that most people probably don’t openly discuss) and an excellent discussion. And you also get some laughs.
Thanks so much to our moderator (Kyle McKinney) and panel (Stef Woods, Tamara Rasberry and Michael Karlan) for leading the discussion last night for our “I’m Just Not That Into Your Profile” event. Thanks to Buffalo Billiards for hosting the event and Josh Green from 1-800-Pack-Rat for your sponsorship.
This one was a lot of fun. Here are a few notable questions and answers from the event.
How do you approach someone you like via social media?
Kyle kicked things off by asking the panel to share their thoughts on the best way to approach someone you like via social media.
Tamara- Look to see if you have friends in common with the person on Facebook, and then ask a friend for an introduction. Facebook is better for online dating because it’s more real.
Stef - “I’m a huge fan of Twitter.” Even if you think you like someone because of interactions via social media, that “attraction only goes to far; you hope someone is presenting an authentic version of themselves.” When you are interested in someone, Stef suggested that you “keep an eye out for red flags.” You want to make sure what the person has told you matches up with what you’re read/seen about them online. Her recommendation was to start interacting with your crush, then take it to a DM, and then take things offline and maybe meet at an event. There’s still no substitute for face-to-face.
Michael – When meeting your social media crush, Michael suggested that you memorize a few stories about yourself and questions you want to ask the other person, so you don’t get run out of things to say and get an awkward pause in the conversation.
How do you create a sustainable romantic interest after you know so much about someone?
The question referred to the fact that you may already know a lot about your social media crush (based on the fact you’ve probably seen their tweets, Facebook posts, pictures, etc.).
Tamara – Keep first dates short and sweet and not to feel too much pressure.
Michael – Don’t be needy
Stef – Be yourself. If the interest is there, it’s there. If not no worries.
How do you decide when to make a relationship “Facebook official?”
Tamara – People should dig a little deeper on this one. If it’s come up in your relationship as an issue, you should ask why it’s a big deal. In her view, if her friends know her well, they’ll know when she’s in a relationship and aren’t relying on Facebook to tell them this.
Stef – People should be more concerned with the offline than online.
Michael – “Do you want to announce to the world every time you break up?”
Is Facebook to blame for people’s breakups and divorces?
Tamara – No. People are making Facebook a scapegoat. If it was going to happen (cheating, relationships going bad, etc.) it’s going to happen. You can’t blame the vehicle.
Stef -Facebook has changed/expanded the definition of cheating. For example, people can now have emotional affairs. She felt like there needs to be different policies for each relationship, depending on what people expect and are comfortable with.
Michael – “Like it or not, Facebook is here.” Trust the person you’re with.
How do you date someone that is not on social media?
**The whole room laughed at this one. 
Tamara – Be open and honest about why they’re using it so much. “Make sure they know you’re not doing anything sneaky.”
Stef – Explain it for what it is – i.e., a hobby, interest, part of your job, etc.
What’s the protocol for unfriending/blocking someone when you break up?
Tamara – Unfriend them. No worries.
Stef – Ask yourself if there’s a reason to keep following them on Twitter/Facebook. If it’s going to hurt you (seeing their pictures, updates, etc) then don’t do it.
Michael – If you want to block them, block them. Simple.
Thanks again to our awesome panelists for a great discussion. If you attended the event, we’d love to hear what your key takeaways were.
